I’m probably the most fearful creator I know. And I am surrounded by a lot of artists and entrepreneurs.
For a long time, I have accepted fear, embraced it even, as the twin sister of creativity. She was there at every turn of the road, and the guide of my life.
Scared of writing a book? Write a book.
Scared of writing a play? Write a play.
Terrified at the idea of being seen? Attend not one, but two drama schools, make movies, perform, create a theatre company…
I lived by this idea that if something scares you, then automatically you HAVE to do it. Whatever the money/time/energy/love-cost. It’s like a Dare, taunting you. Once it’s there, you can’t not take it.
Until I found myself exhausted. Dry.
And yearning to find again that feeling you get when you are in the flow.
You know, that moment when your heart is singing? When you feel as if you have all of the sun plus a thousand singing birds in your heart? When you’re willing to believe that angels exist and that they are all resting on your shoulders.
I find no other way to describe it. It’s as if your heart were bigger.
I am not the only one who felt that, right?
But somehow, I had embraced fear so much that I had gone away from myself.
Fear & stepping out of your comfort zone…. all of this is ok if it makes your body sing and expand.
If, once the deed is done, you think to yourself, “I can’t believe I was scared, this is soooo good”, and not “now, what do I have to do next to be loved?”
So as much as I believe in embracing fear in every creative or entrepreneurial endeavor, I have decided not to mistake Facing My Fears with Becoming Who I Am.
There is something that Deepak Chopra says a lot: “Don’t forget that in order to grow the universe and nature take the path of least effort”.
The first time I read this, I was shocked.
It went so much against all the notions of hard work, of ‘pushing and attaining goals’, I’d grown accustomed to – the phrase stuck in my mind but I couldn’t truly make sense of it.
And yet recently I took a few days off to reflect on my dance school. Of how much it has grown recently, and how it is 100% a labour of love.
It stems from a combination of my love for dancing, connecting with people, writing helpful things for them, and of Pablo’s love for teaching and desire to share the subtleties of his culture.
There were challenges, we have worked hard and got scared along the way, but it never felt like a burden or something we Had To Do. Mostly, it has been… easy, obvious and fun.
And that’s what I want for the rest of my life now.
Oh. That means facing my fear of giving up, of taking a rest, and of being lost.